Nokogiri-Yama, Nihon-ji Japan

Imagine that when you arrive at work today, you learn that a big change has occurred–perhaps a big decision has been made, a promotion or demotion has been announced, or a new direction has been forged. And now imagine that you don’t like this change, and that this change is already a “done deal.”

What would be your next step?

Hopefully you answered, “I see the writing on the wall, and unless this change is ethically untenable for me, I am going to go with it, and see where we land.”  But if you are like many people in a similar situation, you would have had a big emotional reaction, then would look for likeminded colleagues to commiserate with, and resist in whatever way seems most likely to sabotage the change.

That’s probably not your best approach.

In recent posts, I have described and championed “self management” as THE most important workplace (and life) skill. A dimension of self management that often goes unexplored in organizational life is “acceptance.” In organizations undergoing change (i.e., all of them) we often talk about “getting buy-in” or “dealing with resistance” when heading in new directions. But usually we do not specifically talk about cultivating acceptance as a critical workplace endeavor.  (Stephen Covey’s model, “The Circle of Concern/Circle of Influence” begins to get at this concept. Check this link for a helpful “visual” of the model: http://www.uthscsa.edu/gme/documents/Circles.pdf)

First, let’s nail down the definition of “acceptance.” Acceptance might mean consenting to undertake something offered, or it could even mean being willing to tolerate something that we don’t particularly like. Acceptance is not declining to have discussion about contested issues, nor is it about rolling over when there is still room for negotiation. Acceptance is NOT playing the victim role, and it is not characterized by pot-stirring or whiny resignation.

Although it is not confined to those with long tenures, I do often see a resistance to change on the parts of people who are invested in old paradigms. Perhaps “the way we’ve always done it” has worked particularly well for them personally, or maybe they just don’t like to explore or embrace new ways. When this attitude becomes intractable, individuals stridently carry banners for perspectives, processes, and behaviors that are no longer relevant. Although they may imagine that they are defending something important by resisting, they are displaying a lack of team work, flexibility, and vision–and this does not go unnoticed by the people around them.

Obviously, not every change is good, and not every act of resistance is uppity and ill-conceived. So how does one know when to accept and support a change, and when to resist and rethink it?

The secret ingredient is discernment. If the change is not mandated by a regulatory body, you may well have a chance to question or overturn it. If the change is local (meaning, happening in your office or on your team, versus at a different level of organization or in another department) you may have more influence in reframing what will change. If the change has already been announced and implementation is underway, then you will not likely be able to overturn it, unless and until it can be demonstrated (with data, not just emotions) that the change is bad for the organization.

Acceptance means seeing what is going to change and understanding why. Acceptance is making a conscious decision to support change in a positive (or at least neutral or curious) manner. Acceptance is, as the saying goes, “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

It seems to me, then, that acceptance is an aspect of self management, as well as of “followership.” In many work situations, we do not enjoy total dominion over what happens. But HOW we tackle a project or mandate–even when we are not in full agreement–is the place where we can exercise sovereignty. Although it may seem that acceptance=resignation, accepting what is, and bringing one’s best thinking and conduct to bear on it, may in fact be the most powerful stance possible.