Boat ride in Japan

How many times have you found yourself in a meeting wondering, “What am I doing here??”

One of the biggest complaints my clients have is about how much time they spend in meetings–not only the time they spend in them, but also the quality of the time they spend.  More often than any of us would want, our meetings are hijacked by people who talk on and on, refusing to yield the floor.  Or there is no agenda, so the conversation meanders, or darts crazily around, never really focusing in on anything. Oftentimes, the participants feel helpless to get the meeting on track. As a client once said of the meeting facilitator, “I feel like this guy has driven our car into the ocean, and I’m strapped into the backseat, drowning.  I wish I knew where we kept the life preservers!”

We in the States tend to have meetings to discuss something, to decide something. We tend to be “outcome” oriented, and we tend to get impatient if the meeting doesn’t yield something concrete and actionable.  We like meetings with a “beginning, middle, and end,” and if we can walk out the door with “next steps,” we are satisfied.

When I first began working in Japan, I was quite disoriented by and in meetings. To me, it seemed that we spent long periods of time discussing terrain we had already been over. We talked about facts we already had and actions or decisions that had already been taken. It felt like we were reiterating the known and not venturing much into what we still had to learn or do.  

Over time, it also got clear to me that the work I thought would happen in meetings (discussing, debating, problem-solving, decision-making) actually happened outside the meeting.  Contrasted with meetings I had attended in the States, meetings in Japan seemed to be much more about the relationships of the people attending and the process of their work together.

My obvious and sometimes exasperated question was, “Well, what are these meetings FOR, anyway?”

Which turns out to be the core question for all meetings, wherever they are being held.

We are so used to having meetings that we default to them, when perhaps a meeting is NOT the best modality for the task.  We tend not to ask whether a phone call or reviewing a document on a shared drive, or some other way of doing work might suffice.  We tend to invite participation lavishly, rather than honing in on who REALLY needs to be there–and whether they need to be there for the whole meeting. When we do have agendas, we don’t necessarily adhere to them, nor do we group items so that some people could be present for say, 20 minutes, and then leave. Unwittingly, we hold ourselves hostage to our own poor planning–and we lose a lot of efficiency and job satisfaction in the bargain.

When teams and organizations stop asking themselves, “Do we really need to meet?” and “Who really needs to be there, and for how long?” we start having meetings that are less useful and WAY less fun.  The good news is that this can be turned around, simply by challenging our habitual thinking and becoming mindful about the who, what, when and why of meetings.

If you have decided that you do need to meet, and you know who needs to be there, then you should confirm what you will be doing.  Sometimes we meet to generate ideas. Sometimes we meet just to talk with each other and find out what we are collectively thinking.  Other times we meet to problem-solve, or we need to decide something.  If you can identify what task the group is meeting for, and hold yourselves to it, you will have a more productive meeting.  There is nothing more frustrating than thinking you are going to a meeting to decide something and finding out that everyone else wants to vent.  Or that several of you have decided on a course of action, but some of you are still data gathering and need more information.  Alignment on the reason(s) for the meeting will take you a long way.

The next step is totally obvious and yet often ignored: prepare for the meeting. Some of my clients attend back-to-back meetings all day long, and are doing well to simply make it to the meeting on time.  If you cannot take a block of time prior to the meeting, do a mini-prep on the way.  While you are in the bathroom between meetings, or walking from one meeting to another, remind yourself what the next meeting is for, what you want to contribute, and what you want to get out of being there.

Once you are all assembled, the “flotation device” you can distribute is a shared understanding about why you are all there.  Beginning with a 15 second statement like, “we’re here to discuss this but not that,” or, “today we’re going to decide such-and-such” focuses the group and helps you identify if you are all there for the same reason.  With that consensual purpose expressly stated, you get yourselves headed in the same direction.

There is nothing quite so satisfying as coming together with a group of people for a shared purpose–and then achieving it.  Would love to hear your story about a good meeting you have facilitated or attended!