How many times a day are you provoked, goaded, inflamed? Maybe you read a headline, overheard a conversation, or saw something on social media that REALLY got to you. Or perhaps you had a personal, direct interaction that you are still wrestling with, days later.

Welcome to the Sea of Hyperarousal.

Hyperarousal is a physical and mental state, a response to stimuli where you feel hypervigilant and anxious, where blood pressure and heart rate are elevated. In hyperaroused states, your fight or flight response is stuck in the “on” position, long after the stimulus has passed.

The result is that:

A. You feel tightly wound and on edge, and

B. You are more prone to poor decision-making, irritability, and outbursts

In VUCA* environments, hyperarousal continually beckons. Incessantly dealing with volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity is an invitation to drive, drive, drive/react, react, react.

Conventional “wisdom” is that the quicker you move, the more you can make or do. Quality or depth is not so much a value, it’s about continually putting out. We are encouraged to get out ahead of the stress, to try to outrun it (usually so someone else can profit.) Let’s face it, hyperarousal is monetized.

And unsustainable. If you are galloping on this hamster wheel, you’ve got to be asking yourself how to slow down or get off.

So let’s get real.

Steadying yourself may seem like the LAST thing to do, but it’s actually the FIRST thing.

First, recognize that it is impossible to cordon off your inner terrain from your work. When you try to compartmentalize sharply you lose access to the juice of creativity and connection. Leaders are questioning how to bring their whole selves to work in a way that is both accessible AND boundaried. They wonder how to be porous enough to build trust and truly engage with their colleagues, without oversharing. They wonder how to be reserved about some aspects of their personal landscapes without appearing remote or robotic. It’s a balancing act that every leader grapples with. This has always been true, but it’s truer in the world we currently live in.

We all have traumas and triggers. We all have talents and aspirations. These can be in dynamic tension with each other, and have big implications for the success of an idea, project, org, or career.

The old ways of being and leading are not working.

Stepping into a new way of being and leading is critical, but it cannot be done alone. It may seem counterintuitive, but being a leader also means being accompanied and sometimes, being led. Leadership is no longer top-down, it’s relational.

Most importantly, leadership is not just an outer-focused endeavor, but also an inside job. Continually monitoring your nervous system and self-regulating is foundational. Paying attention to inner signals and managing your level of reactivity in real time is critical. The quality of your inner life dictates how well you can create a field of psychological safety for yourself and your team.

Yes, this may mean having a meditation or yoga practice. But it also means tracking your nervous system and intervening effectively WHILE you are giving tough feedback, or WHILE you are hearing that your project just collapsed.

Regulating your nervous system in a sea of hyperarousal CAN be learned, and it will make your life a ton better. For executive coaching or leadership training that focuses on steadying your boat in the Sea of Hyperarousal, please contact me at danamgallagher@gmail.com.

*VUCA: Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous