Bright Spots, painted by Dana Gallagher

“Bad things come in threes.”  We hear this suspicion expressed so often that typically after “two bad somethings” happen in rapid succession, we start watching for “The Third.” In my case, there have been three client situations in the last month, where negativity was a major problem on the team and I was called to help address it.

Fortuitously, I came across an interesting article in the Harvard Business Review blog network entitled, “The Neurochemistry of Positive Conversations.” [http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/06/the-neurochemistry-of-positive-conversations/] In it, the authors discuss the impact of negative and positive conversations on our bodies–and how that chemistry sets us up for negative and positive workplace dynamics. They listed specific conversational behaviors managers may display that induce stress hormones in their employees, among them: not trusting others, being focused on convincing others, pretending to be listening, or having such strong emotions that it detracts from their own abilities to listen.

This is not an exhaustive list, and these behaviors are not confined to managers alone. The type of negativity I have heard most about recently is of the cynical, sarcastic, and bitter ilk, from people who are unwilling or unable to work from a position of neutrality, if not optimism.

I get it that there are nightmare workplaces, nightmare bosses, and nightmare coworkers. I even get it that negative people think their spewing “helps” them to carry on at work. Certainly we all suffer difficult workplace conditions from time to time, and, we all have to somehow offload the difficulties and stressors we carry.

That said, I do think that people who are habitually negative at work both underestimate and overestimate their impact on others. They underestimate how much their negativity repels other people. They underestimate how much others avoid or marginalize them as a result. And, they underestimate how much credibility they lose, and how much their reputations plummet.

On the other hand, negative people also overestimate how much their bitterness and cynicism is shared by others. They overestimate how much real influence or effect their complaining has on changing things (for the better, anyway). Typically, they also become blind to positive changes that DO occur, in turn overestimating how “right” they are that “this place is horrible and will NEVER improve.”

Whether you are an employer or employee, I challenge you to do a rigorous self assessment about your level of negativity. If you see (or have been told) that negativity is a big part of how you operate at work, consider taking these steps to self-manage:

-If there are specific areas that you are justifiably negative about, seek to be part of a solution. Talk to the right people, explain your views without venom, offer ideas, and help with problem-solving.

-If there are specific areas that you are justifiably negative about, and you know that they cannot or will not change, please find another job. Staying in a role that you perceive to be this horrible takes a terrible toll on you, and others.

-If you cannot change things and you elect not to leave your workplace, then you must take vigorous action to contain your verbal and nonverbal negativity, for here is where negativity is like smoking:  once it gets out into the air, it is an equal opportunity contaminant. We can all smell it, and it is noxious.