Pilgrim Monument, Provincetown MA

One of the things I’ve learned from my acting clientele concerns the notion of “suspending disbelief”  to increase one’s engagement with a film or theatrical performance. As I understand it, “suspending disbelief” involves consciously accepting premises of a storyline that may not be realistic or pragmatically possible, and in so doing, entering a world where anything can and does happen. Suspending disbelief is what makes fictional characters like Harry Potter, and films like “The Matrix” and “Cloud Atlas” engaging, fun, and meaningful.

Suspending disbelief is a choice, and one I enthusiastically make whenever I step into a theatre. In a spirit of openness and curiosity, I can ask “what if?” and enjoy the journey, regardless of how fantastically improbable it may be in “real life.”  The times I’ve thought, “well, THAT can’t possibly happen” are the times that I’ve pretty much hated the movie.  An open, curious mindset can make the difference between thoroughly enjoying a movie and being resentfully focused on the two hours of my life I can never get back.

I’m struck that this is also true in organizations.

When we work upon a certain “stage” or with a certain “cast of characters” over time, we tend to think we know the arc of the plot and how it is all going to end.  Especially when it comes to change, we are prone to believe we can accurately predict whether or not something (or someone) can or will change. Once we think we know the outcome, we lose our curiosity and our openness–and once that is lost, the field of possibility is decidedly narrowed.

One of the most important things I bring to my clients is fresh eyes. Since I don’t work with them on a daily basis, I do not tend to have preconceived notions about what can and will happen in their organization, and I am quite curious about what is happening now, and why. Perhaps it is easier for me because I am not internal to an organization or team, but it is still possible to look with fresh eyes, even when one has been a longtime employee.

In my experience there are two critically important actions that can help you to suspend your disbelief that things can never change for the better:

1.  Assume good will.

2.  Get curious.

When I “assume good will” with my clients, I choose to believe that whatever they are doing–infuriating or otherwise–probably has a good reason behind it. Because I believe this, I get curious about what that good reason could be, and once that has been uncovered and discussed, we can all get to work on creating a new workplace reality.

For example, say that Mary continually does not do “A” even though “everyone knows” that “A” is Mary’s job.  Mary’s colleagues may be disgruntled that Mary never does “A,” and they likely deduce that Mary is lazy, or that Mary is not doing “A” in order to purposefully make their lives miserable.

Rather than jumping onto the “Mary Sucks!” bandwagon, a curious colleague who “assumes good will” can set out to discover why Mary doesn’t do “A.”  They may find out that Mary doesn’t actually think or know “A” is her job, or was under the impression that “A” was a shared task.  It is possible that Mary was reprimanded by the CEO for doing “A” in 2008 and has vowed never to do it again.  Perhaps Mary sees others doing some elements of “A” and so assumes that it has been delegated to someone else. (Although it is possible that Mary actually IS a lazy hateful person whose joy springs from intentionally failing the team, I routinely reserve that as the last possible explanation for Mary’s behavior.  I suggest you do, too.)

Assuming that Mary is not hateful causes me to approach her with respect, which may decrease any defensiveness Mary has about the topic of “A.”  Because she senses that I am honestly curious and not critical, she is also more predisposed to engage in honest conversation with me about “A.” It is in these types of conversations that I am likely to discover where an honest miscommunication, misunderstanding, or simple lack of clarity about “A” is causing difficulty for Mary and the team.

So I set the challenge to all of us in organizations (and families, and relationships of all sorts) to suspend disbelief, to assume good will, and to get curious.  Perhaps you will not get that “fairy tale” ending, but you will most certainly access the potential for a new and different story.