Shisa from Okinawa
Thanks, Masato

One of the most enjoyable aspects of my work is assisting teams and organizations with culture change. Culture–“the way we do things around here”–is arguably the most important aspect of any workplace. The difference between, for example, a “collaborative” culture and a “punishing” culture is huge, touching all aspects of an organization and the people involved in it.  It feels decidedly different to be a participant in each of these cultures, and not surprisingly, what one can learn, contribute, and achieve in each culture is decidedly different as well.

The other day I was working with a team who is just beginning to change from what they self-describe as a “gossipy, rather mean-spirited culture” to a “respectful, we’ve got each others’ backs” culture.  This requires an entirely different mode of behavior and communication, mainly, talking with colleagues rather than about and against them.  In a culture that had historically savaged people for minor or even imaginary infractions, it felt quite risky to the team to start having more honest, direct interactions.

As we were talking about the risk inherent to this change, one of the team members earnestly asked, “Can you tell us how to do this so it’s not uncomfortable?”  We had a good laugh, but the question prompted us to talk about how uncomfortable culture change can often be.

The clear subtext here is the need for courage in order to engage with change.  In American culture we exhort each other to “Go for it!” while in Japan we encourage each other with “Ganbatte!” These are meant to provide some sense of acknowledgement and support from those around us, but in point of fact, changing is often a solitary act of courage.

Without the courage to make the changes we want or need to make, we make the default choice of mediocrity and stagnation.  We simply cannot improve or expand as individuals or organizations without being uncomfortable sometimes.

Ultimately, it comes back around to self-management (see my May 2013 blog post, “The Biggest Management Challenge EVER:  Yourself.”) Preventing oneself from being hijacked by fear is an important self-management skill.  We all at times become so frightened that we want to turn back, and many of us DO turn back.  This is the moment where we are looking for the way to make the change that is not uncomfortable.

In the above conversation with the culture-changing team , someone said to me, “Well, if I had your ability to stay calm and articulate under duress, I wouldn’t be scared either.”  I have heard this many times, and in response have pointed out that:

1. Being calm and articulate in the face of change is not genetic, it is a skill anyone can practice and hone, and

2.  It is entirely possible to be calm and articulate, while simultaneously scared to death.

None of us pop out of the womb hard-wired with confidence that whatever life throws us, we will manage well.  It is really through living life and through making mistakes (some big, some small) that we gather the experience and skill to meet life’s challenges a little more courageously.

The idea that some people are naturally gifted at being courageous (and therefore, that they are the ones who ought to be brave so the rest of us can be comfortable) is both lazy and naive.  Anyone has the capacity (and responsibility) to grow their courage, grow their ability to tolerate ambiguity, and even to “sit in the fire.” Doing so is not a god-given talent, it is a capability to be practiced and grown.

I am not suggesting that whenever you are scared you should ignore your fear and plough forward, consequences be damned.  Obviously, healthy fear can save your life.  But in the workplace, where it isn’t your life that is threatened, but your comfort level, perhaps making a Triple-S (small, slightly scary) Choice is doable. The next time you go to work, simply notice the times during your day when you could make a Triple-S Choice–and elect not to.

Every time you walk away from a Triple-S Choice, there are consequences for you and for your team.  In the near term, we miss the chance to do, be or have something different. Maybe that makes only a little difference if it happens once, but if it is your habit, then you create inertia for the sake of maintaining your own comfort level.  And this exacts a high cost from you personally, and collectively from your team and organization.

I have worked with many teams where everyone is upset about an issue, but only one person has the courage to raise it.  If it is the same person continually being the “brave voice” for the team, the team dynamic becomes distorted.  The “spokesperson” may get an exaggerated sense of obligation or of power, while the rest of the team becomes increasingly passive and silent, believing that “so-and-so will say something, so I don’t have to.”  When we choose not to brave our own discomfort, we are also choosing to burden others, in a sense relying on them to do our work for us.

While there is probably no way around feeling scared at times, there are ways to pull oneself (and maybe even others) forward.  When people understand that a goal or outcome is strongly positive, they often WILL opt to “be afraid, but do it anyway.”  I’ve noticed too that when a group of people is passionate about a change, they typically take turns being scared–and whoever is not scared in that particular moment can support whomever is.

Find that goal, that outcome that you really feel passionately about. Focus on what you will be able to be, do, and/or have as a result of achieving it.  Let yourself be excited by the promise of the change. Think and talk about how interesting or enlivening that change will be and how it will benefit your organization.  Keeping one’s eye on the prize is critically important to countering fear.

If we hope to grow in times of ambiguity and uncertainty, we must step out of our comfort zones–not once, but repeatedly.  Practicing doing so in small ways paves the way. Practicing with others who are also doing so paves the way.

Remember (and be comforted!) that change is not usually about hair-raising heroics.  It is about making and living a commitment to incremental shifts, one Triple-S choice at a time.