Haircuts and Humility
While having my hair cut recently, my Japanese hairstylist and I wandered onto the topic of “being humble,” something one experiences comparatively less in the States than in Japan. Obviously, there are humble Americans and arrogant Japanese, but we agreed that humility is much more a core value for Japanese. We talked about how much we appreciated this, and how much self-awareness and restraint it sometimes takes to stay humble. Interestingly to both of us, we couldn’t easily define “humility” but we knew it when we saw it–and most definitely when we did not.
There may well be multiple meanings of “humility” but a simple definition that resonates for me is “being teachable” or “being open to learning.” (Thanks to my colleague, Shoshana Rosenfeld, http://shoshanarosenfeld.com for her thoughtful work on this topic.)
When we look at our coworkers, teams and organizations, all too often we see the opposite of humility. We see (or maybe even ARE) people convinced that others have nothing to teach us, or that we know what is best for everyone else. Sadly, most of us have had the experience of working with the “know-it-alls” or the “steamrollers”–those colleagues who dominate with their self-righteous demeanors and actions. The people we are and the work we do needs “oxygen” to expand and thrive, and arrogance is so often the thing that stifles true teamwork, problem solving, and creativity. This may be a bold statement, but I believe that without humility, people and work that ought to be expanding calcifies and dies instead.
Fortunately, there are humble people in most every workplace, at all levels of organization. These are the people who show up every day, eager to be of service to others (even if, or maybe especially if, they are the boss.) These are the ones who say, “I was wrong,” or, “I don’t really agree with you–but I sure want to know why you think that way.” These are people who, when they feel defensive, get curious about it instead of withdrawn or punitive. They are the ones who are generously willing to “take one for the team.” These are the people who are willing to let their habitual mindsets be MOVED.
We in the States so often think that being humble means being humiliated: dominated, vanquished, a door mat. And as a result, we tend to undervalue humility as a core competency in both life and work. Reframing humility as a strength is critical to us if we want to thrive and grow as individuals, and within teams and organizations. Please share in the “reframe”: Where have you seen humility contribute and advance a person, a team, or an organization?
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